10 Moments That Made You Quit Gaming For Good

Rainbows are supposed to be positive iconography; they're supposed to remind us of colours, smiles, unicorns and diversity. But not Rainbow Road. Rainbow Road is the most grave abuse of the rainbow brand since someone at school tried to convince me Ian McKellen was straight because "his name isn't Gandalf the Gay."

Nintendo clearly know just how vexing Rainbow Road is, given that they insist upon remastering and updating this "classic" track on just about any Mario Kart release there is.

But do you know something? I don't like Rainbow Road very much. And it's not because I never win on it, that much I can take. It's because I don't think anyone really likes it.

No self-respecting council would allow a road to be built almost entirely without guardrails, for starters. One slip and you're effectively lost to the emptiness of space? Yeah, right.

There are definitely people out there who can complete Rainbow Road with ease, but that's as relevant as saying I've seen someone master Dragon Force's "Through the Fire and Flames" on expert difficulty—there are such thing as mutants.

Those people see Rainbow Road as a genuine Mario Kart circuit. The rest of us see it as a trapeze.