7. Mass Effect 3 March 9th 2012 (EU)
Come on. This isnt a surprise. Even though I said in my last article Mass Effect 3 had a massively disappointing ending and Im not even a fan; this doesnt mean I dont understand how irritating it was. I put my spare time into each Mass Effect game admittingly half-heartedly, only to have an ending that was so poor I felt like calling the Salvation Army. However, that in mind, the disappointment starts way before the arse of an ending. Mass Effect 3 starts on Earth where Commander Shepard is on trial for whatever you decided in the previous game. After the Reapers attack Earth, Shepard being a courageous leader leaves and so begins this era's romantic adventure. Being BioWare we all know the set-up. A huge amount of your time will be defending some base that resembles Hoth and chatting with people that look like dinner plates. The cover-based system returns and is largely unchanged from the previous titles. The only difference I could see is the controls feel more stiff and rigid like Commander Shepard is carved out of wood. One vulgar change is the most clumsy dodge roll, like Shepard knows were watching and is coming across with stage fright. Shepards dialogue is awful and he sounds like a bloody robot. He gives off the impression that he doesnt care about saving the universe and would rather head down to the bar and try to score with some alien. And as always, the cut scenes are pants. Half the time characters will suddenly take a long pause mid-sentence like theyve smelt a rancid fart. Identical to Mass Effect 1 and 2, you have choices throughout which change the course of your own personal experience, when in actuality, it boils down to one single choice you make in the last stretch of the game. And those endings are so God awful it makes me wish I spent my time more productively like creating a PowerPoint on: Commander Shepard: The Sexual Predator. Im just thankful Im not a fan of the series because I would be one million times more frustrated than I am now.