3. Crysis 2 March 25th 2011 (EU)
Mother of Richard Dawkins, this is one of my all-time hated games. Crysis bloody 2 is so bad, the first time I bought it I thought it gave me a UTI and returned it within a week. I couldnt take how face punchingly terrible it was, but Ill be damned if I let a game beat me, and I recently re-bought it. And, because Im apparently a masochist; I spent eight hours non-stop playing through it from start to finish and now, I am unquestionably sure that Crysis 2 was a waste of my damn time. Liking the first game to an extent because the story was alright and its hard to forget that the CryEngine does one thing brilliantly, and that is jungle environments, setting Crysis 2 in a city seemed a tad odd like someone knocking on your door with a tea spoon. Okay, there are parts set in the jungle so those who bought it on PC can watch their computer smoulder, but these parts arent long and then its straight back to grey, wrecked New York. The story goes; Aliens invade New York and infect everyone with a chesty cough apart from you, Alcatraz and Prophet from the first game. Some huge insertion doesnt go to plan and to save your life, Prophet puts you in the nano-suit but doesnt say every enemy in the city wants to kill whomever is in that suit. So its not so much saving your life as slightly prolonging it. While Crysis 2 paces itself well at the beginning with a nice relaxing walk through the broken streets of New York, for me it becomes far too relaxed and falls asleep. A building does fall down at some stage, but I think that was something to do with poor workmanship rather than an exciting set piece. What also got my blood boiling was how Alcatraz throws objects like a sparrow swims. Adding to that, your stealth robe deactivates when you throw anything making that ability absolutely useless. And, while Im talking about crap abilities, your armour, sprint and cloak all use the same energy which is bloody senseless. If you cock up a stealth section because you ran out of juice, youre not going to be able to flee like a little girl. Then again, for some reason the aliens stop flying around in their super high-tech space ships in favour of walking about sightseeing completely disinterested with you and your special suit. Maybe this is why the game is so bloody easy it makes buttoning your shirt seem taxiing. One immense problem I have with Crysis 2 is anyone who plays it will never discuss the actual game play or plot, and will blabber on about the CryEngine like its a pant-wetting miracle. I dont care how good your damn graphics engine is. Life has a good graphics engine and its bloody awful.