6. Go Fish
Right, this is quite a specific one and it comes towards the end of Skyward Sword. You have to visit four dragons whose only reaon for existing is to give part of a song to the Hero of the Goddess. The other three were quite happy to pass on their bits to avert the coming apocalypse. Yet when you go and see water dragon, Faron, the snooty cow obviously feels she needs a bigger part. And just bear in mind that you're technically in a race against the clock at this point. Its only by some complete coincidence that Link is there each time to stop Demise when he breaks out. You never get to read Links side of the conversation in the game, but I feel this is pretty accurate. Faron: Oh, I remember you. Youre the young hero who helped me recover from my injuries. Link isnt it? LINK: Hi, yes, thats me. No need to thank me. Look, I dont mean to be rude, but the worlds going to end in literally a few hours and the only way I can stop it is by listening to part of a song that you know. Faron :Lets have a look at you Yes, you seem a good deal stronger than the last time we met. And look at that sword Youre the real thing, boy. Its clear you have the spirit of a hero of the goddess. LINK: Thats very kind of you, but we kind of already established that last time we met. About that song? And the end of the world? F: Let me guess You swam all the way here to try to get me to teach you the part of the Song of the Hero the goddess entrusted to me. L: Are you actually listening to a word Im saying? Yes. The song. Please. F: Thats all well and good, but I cant go around giving away something that precious to every hero who flounders into my waters. L: "Every hero"? What do you mean "every hero"? You just said I had the spirit of a hero of the goddess like two sentences ago. THE spirit. Definite article, you know? F: No, I think a final test is in order to ensure you are in fact the one meant to hear this melody of mine. L: Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me. And with that she sets you up with an entirely pointless fetch quest. Its not even a good fight, or hunting for some powerful item you get to use later. No, instead she throws these annoying little fish called tadtones far and wide and you have to go and collect them all. They werent even lost in the first place! What I find really frustrating about this is the sheer pointlessness of it. The game is accelerating really smoothly towards the climax, until this ridiculous bit of padding puts the brakes on as effectively as a dead moose falling on your car. Its a jarring piece of nonsense that spoils hours of carefully built up tension and excitement for no real purpose, save to extend the game a bit further and incorporate a bit of swimming into the game. And nobody likes swimming levels. Frustration rating: 8.
Richard Revell
Richard has been playing video games since the days of the BBC Micro, (and incidentally when is Chuckie Egg going to get a reboot?) He is currently available for the post of Head of Marketing at Nintendo, seeing as no-one else seems to be doing the job. He's also a major fan of fantasy/sf books and is just waiting for his novel about an assassin who doesn't wear a hood to get picked up.
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