Everyones second favourite Italian plumber isnt above stomping on a few Goombas to save the princess, but at some point you start wondering when it will all end. The Mario series is starting to feel like an infinite loop, a hellish Groundhog Day situation that forces Mario to save Princess Peach from the evil clutches of Bowser again and again, and again... and again. At some point the poor guy is going to snap, the pressure of endlessly repeating the same sequence of events finally turning his mind to mush. Luigis been phoning in his performances for years, but Mario is always expected to be the hero no matter the circumstances, no matter how many times hes already cleared the same identical desert stage or crushed the same Goomba into dust. What better motivation for a villain? Disconcerted with having to save the same princess from the same baddy day after day, Mario joins forces with Bowser to bring about a new age of darkness in which no one is allowed to do the same thing twice. Under the rule of this new totalitarian regime, Princess Peach would remain under constant lock and key, and the inhabitants of the mushroom kingdom would be rounded up forced to play a twisted version of Mario Party with rules that are in a constant state of flux. The new hero would be Luigi of course (everyone's real favourite Italian plumber) who would lead a rebellion of Toads to overthrow his tyrannical older brother and save the princess, thus beginning a new infinite cycle of kidnap and rescue that will last forever. At least... until Luigi snaps. Which 'heroes' would you rather go up against, instead of embody? Let us know in the comments, and join the ranks over at whatculture.com/write if you'd like to contribute your own content!
