10 Video Games That Mock Bad Players

6. Final Fantasy VII

Final Fanasy 7 Battle Square
Square-Enix

When players return to Final Fantasy VII’s amusement park Gold Saucer after their first visit, they’ll be able to take on the Battle Square. This series of fights pits Cloud Strife against a roster of opponents in hopes of racking up as many points as possible before the end.

If the player fails to make it to the end of the Battle Square’s offering of monsters, the player will get a consolation prize in the form of a tissue.

Whilst technically speaking the item does have a use, it’s not one for the player and instead is a way for the game to track how many times Cloud has attempted the minigame. But this is something the game could’ve done under the hood. It didn’t need to give you an item to sit in your inventory for this fact.

And it certainly didn’t need to make that item a tissue. The implication is pretty clear: use the tissue to dry your pathetic little tears because you’re not hardy enough to hang with the big boys. The item description even references it being a little “tough” and in Japanese it translates closer to “heartbreaking”.

You may well have gone into the Battle Square with the hopes of collecting enough points for Cloud’s ultimate weapon but if it gave you issues, it merely had a tissue for you.

Contributor

Coming from a content creation background that now spans over two decades, Psy cut her teeth on personal video production and community radio. Originally joining the team as a writer and presenter, she added video editing duties to her responsibilities over time and became the longest-standing editor of the irreverent gaming show Tues Your Own Adventure. Psy has worked on many previews and reviews, long-form editorials (either her own, or supporting as an editor), as a frequent quizmaster and more. Praised for the two-pronged attack of her hard work ethic and light-hearted editing style, Psy is otherwise known as a font of retro video game knowledge which has caused her to rack up many quiz wins. Outside of WhatCulture, Psy runs First Aid Spray Podcast - a long-running channel that focuses on Resident Evil in all of it's forms. You can follow her on BlueSky at http://psywhite.bsky.social and Instagram at http://instagram.com/therealpsywhite