6. John Marston Red Dead Redemption
John Marston is so manly you could light matches off his face. The baddest cowboy this side of The Man With No Name, Marston is so hard he can actually stop time and pick his shots, and only a certain level of testicular fortitude allows a man to do that. He takes on bears with a knife because,
screw bears and even rises from the dead when you kill him to enact vengeance on the undead, simply because they werent dead enough already. Hot damn, thats a mans man. But put Marston in waist-high water and suddenly every falls apart. Hes simply prodigiously useless when it comes to aquatic matters. Wander too far and youll just die instantly, as if all the hope in the world simply left Johns body and left him in a manly, crumpled heap. In fact, hes actually embarrassed about this, telling the player to stop putting him anywhere near where the fish dwell, because he simply cant handle it. Im sorry, really? One of the greatest characters on Playstation, capable of turning a snake into a rather fetching hat cant even swim? Frankly, thats just mad. This is a man who had no qualms about taking on an entire Mexican Revolution. If they knew just pouring a bucket of water over his head would turn him into a gibbering wreck, they couldve saved a whole lot of bullets. What makes it worse is that he doesnt even encourage his son how to swim, and for a man so focused on making sure his son doesnt make his mistakes this is kind of unforgivable. Oh sure, teach him the difference between right and wrong, but failing to teach him about something which appears to be the bane of your existence is a pretty shocking oversight.