13 Classic Video Games With Ridiculously Stupid Stories

1. Final Fantasy VII

Final Fantasy Vii Yes, really. I€™m not usually one to jump on the revisionist bandwagon, but with this one the fan-boys need to be dragged kicking and screaming into the light. Isn€™t is odd that, (SPOILERS!) despite Aerith€™s death appearing on every €˜classic video game moments€™ list on the web, the rest of the game€™s narrative gets nary a mention? There€™s a good reason for that; the plot of Final Fantasy VII makes€no€sense. What€™s more, it€™s wilfully baffling. There€™s something about the planet€™s life-stream and an evil bloke who wants to unite with it to become a god, but he€™s actually a clone of an alien invader and the planet has created monsters to defend itself from him, but then it turns on its own human population for some reason and the monsters start killing everyone€and there€™s a sort of tiger-thing? In writing this list I went through a refresher course by playing the game to completion again, then I went on Wikipedia to try and decipher its plot but I€™m still none the wiser. This game commits all three of the cardinal sins of writing: over-complexity for the sake of it, a confusingly vast roster of characters and a conclusion that fails to provide any proper closure to its sprawling narrative. Add to that the fact that Aerith might not actually have died in that scene, and you€™ve got yourself the fattest sacred cow of classic videogame storylines.
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Sam Miranda hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.