15 Biggest WTF Moments In The Witcher Trilogy

7. Great Balls Of Granite

With Blood & Wine being the final expansion for The Witcher 3, CD Projekt RED went out of their way to have a bit of fun, and this is reflected in many of the side quests, some of which are just plain ridiculous. One of the stand outs involves a statue and the theft of its “family jewels.”

While exploring Beauclair, the capital of Toussaint, Geralt is approached by an art curator, who asks him to look into the matter and return the stolen pieces to the statue. Geralt agrees, and after some investigation discovers an older man had stolen the statue’s manhood to “aid” him in his own sexual dysfunction.

He is using his newfound virility to have an affair with a married woman, and her husband isn’t all too happy about that...

Geralt of course, has to intervene in the situation and convince the man to give the stones back. This side quest is very silly, especially when the reason behind the theft it revealed. It’s typical of the Witcher series’ approach to humor, which you often don’t quite see coming, and in a world as dark as this one can be, it makes the punch line all the more unpredictable.