5. Naughty Bear
I'm pretty convinced that the people behind Naughty Bear were two things. Firstly they were big fans of Conker's Bad Fur Day, the excellently adult-themed platformer that graced us with its presence on the Nintendo 64 all those moons ago. They were also clearly not very good as Naughty Bear, despite trying to be as naughty as possible, was quite clearly just a poor attempt at emulating Conker's success. A third-person shooter at its core, Naughty Bear is about a cute little teddy bear who gets laughed at by his friends and - rather than resolving it nicely as is the wont of most other cuddly bears - decides to go on a killing spree. He's a very naughty bear you see. Widely panned by critics and gamers alike, Naughty Bear should have immediately withdrew whence he came, back into the twisted minds of the game developers. But wait, what is this? Is that the Lack of Logic Alarm ringing proudly out across the rooftops? It certainly is my friends! Despite Naughty Bear being named among the worst games of the year in 2010, it managed to spawn forth an equally bad sequel not too long ago. So to sum up what Naughty Bear was, it's basically like a really bad, bad rip-off of kids TV. Naughty doesn't speak, but does facial expressions while a silly narrator talks over the carnage. Now if Naughty Bear is to ever come back - which he shouldn't, ever - he should really go and study Conker again to see how to do it right. Y'know, "...I am the great and mighty poo...." See what I'm saying?
Dan Curtis
Contributor
Dan Curtis is approximately one-half videogame knowledge, and the other half inexplicable Geordie accent. He's also one quarter of the Factory Sealed Retro Gaming podcast.
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