Brightly coloured, hat-wearing mascots for their respective companies, both Mario and Cena are their industries biggest names, more or less. Mario is the little plumber that could, constantly defeating overwhelming odds. Thats something that Cena knows a little about, although he does it so often that hes less an underdog than an over... erm, duck? Quick, a joke! Why do people feed bread to ducks? Because if you take them to a restaurant theyll stick you with the bill. Brrrrrappadooooooo. Seriously, though - its actually more likely that Cena will win if you set him up to fail. In a straight singles match against an evenly matched opponent, Cena has a chance of losing: if you place him in a handicap match with a bear, a giant squid and a nuclear warhead, then Cenas going to Attitude Adjust the giant squid onto the grizzly, and make the bomb tap out to his trademark ear-warming STF.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
