2. Gary Coleman - Celebrity Rape Victim (Postal)
Gary Coleman was pretty kickass in the Postal 2 video game. Playing a souped up version of himself, he eventually opened fire on a swarm of police with grenades and an assault rifle. Genius. In the film, however, there is no sign of Coleman. Instead we have Verne Troyer. A terrible actor but nowhere near as bad as Gary Coleman. And in this situation, we really would've preferred as awful as possible. It's directed by Uwe Boll for Christ's sake. Why not just go all out? It's impossible for him to direct a good film. The best he can hope for is ironic fanaticism and when it comes to that, few can rival the appeal of Gary Coleman. It's clearly why the game developers were attracted to him, and quite rightly. It's delightful, the ability to follow up Coleman's terrible overacting with a beheading and ritualistic urination on his corpse. This should be a prerequisite for every game. Verne Troyer's role is highlighted by a group of monkeys gang-raping the actor. And, really, that was always going to be a highlight. Seriously - that happened... But how dare Boll and the rest of those Hollywood fat-cats deprive us of Gary Coleman monkey-rape! Actually...it probably sounds funnier than it is. You overthink that and it becomes quite harrowing.