1. All The Wonderful D*ck Jokes
The Boner. The Hot Boner. The Big Boner. These are just three names of the weapons that Johnson can turn into and, in case you didn't notice, they're all penis references. Honestly, in a game that doesn't look that good or play that well, it's still worth looking past all of its foibles just to hear the constant stream of references to the male genitalia. They range from the usual school-yard schtick to things so wildly imaginative that it's necessary to pause the game, put the pad down, and wipe the tears from your giggling face. Obviously toilet humour and the like isn't for everyone and, as this is a family magazine, I'm not going to go into any details, but let me just say that it's been a while since I've experienced something that's one hundred percent committed to being as puerile and immature as it can possibly be. Yes, it sometimes gets grating, and sure some of the sound-bites are repeated a thousand odd times over the game's ten-hour run-time, but if you get a kick out of all things childish and down-right vulgar, then this is a game that was made with you absolutely in its single-tracked mind. There you have it, my reasons why you could do a lot worse than spending a tenner on Shadows of the Damned and hanging out with it for a few hours. Next up I'm going to take a look at a stone-cold classic Bayonetta, which has irritated me no end by announcing that its sequel will be a Wii-U exclusive. As usual, hit me up with your thoughts, opinions, and/or abuse in the comments below, or fling 140 characters my way at @CGibsonWrites on Twitter.