7 Kinect Disasters That Ruined Motion Controlled Gaming

2. Blackwater

YouTubeYouTubeBy this point of the Kinect timeline, if you were still spending money on tragic filth like this then you deserved the torturous gaming experience which it provided. We had all flapped our arms maniacally through the various launch titles, and we'd learned to seriously temper our expectations of what developers were capable of. Yet, even with our cautious approach to Kinect-related enthusiasm, Blackwater still caught some by surprise - no one could have imagined the misery that lurked within. The ungodly step-child of Modern Warfare and some kind of A-TEAM approach to private military war atrocities, this hackneyed on-rails shooter reeked of a illconcieved public relations concept gone horribly wrong. Blackwater chief Erik Prince had graciously taken a day off from recruiting murderers (citation needed) long enough to come up with an idea to save the scarred reputation of his beloved company - publisher 505 Games pulled in developer Zombie Games, which should have been our first clue, and they got stuck in. The idea? Give gamers a real taste of what it's like to be part of a Blackwater operation. Which tells us that the life of a Blackwater hired-gun involves wishing for it all to be over as soon as possible - spend ten minutes with the forsaken game, and the cold hand of death starts to sound like welcome reprieve. It was a nightmare to play, a Hell conjured by wrecked gameplay mechanics, and extended by its ridiculous script, embarrassing character models, PSone-era texture pop-up and oh, so much more. By last (unverified) count, seven people bought this sorry game. Six of them were Blackwater operatives' moms. The other was a nighttime scuba-diving enthusiast, and boy was he disappointed.
Contributor
Contributor

Game-obsessed since the moment I could twiddle both thumbs independently. Equally enthralled by all the genres of music that your parents warned you about.