8 Video Game "Gifts" That Made You Say HUMBUG

3. Secret Boots - Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Konami

Players who explore the Underground Caverns in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night will be rewarded with the Secret Boots, which you might rightly assume would give Alucard some sort of physical advantage - increasing his speed, grip, and so on.

But hilariously, all the boots do is - and we're paraphrasing the item description here - "discreetly increase your height." Yup, that's it.

If you still thought that description might be a tad tongue-in-cheek, it isn't at all - Alucard will indeed grow taller by magnitude of just a few pixels while wearing the boots, and that's the whole "reward."

The boots do admittedly let you reach a few otherwise inaccessible items, though few players are likely to keep them on long enough to realise this. 

Props to Konami for mocking the very notion of in-game rewards years before games en masse started getting cute and self-aware with it.

 
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Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes). General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.