8 Video Game Goons You Felt Awful For WASTING

Yeah. Sorry about that.

God of war athenian soldier
Sony Santa Monica

The life of a video game goon is a thankless job that's for sure.

Not only is your day-to-day likely filled with mindless busywork, but you're also expected to lay your life on the line anytime a would-be superhero or video game protagonist challenges your nefarious employers rule, and trust me despite the likes of Walmart asking the same, you shouldn't have a "risk of death" caveat added to your contract.

On top of this, as goons are so numerous and ultimately expendable, very rarely are they kitted for the task at hand. Oh, what's that Batman's coming? Better get my....er well nothing because The Joker has kept all the guns and weapons for just an elite few. That seems like a smart plan.

This gets so bad to the point that players start to feel bad for the grunts we're forced to dispatch as if we're being honest they either never stood a chance, or the ways in which we dispatch them are brutal beyond compare. In fact, the next time these eight grunts, henchmen, and goons get in your way, maybe give them a pass as their lives are already pretty bloody bleak.

8. Grunts - Halo Franchise

God of war athenian soldier

The Grunts within the Halo franchise always stand out as an absolute curiosity to many.

Within the Covenant you have the noble (although some would say obnoxious), and deadly Elites, you have the horribly hairy and scary Craigs, sorry I mean Brutes, you've got the absolutely roid-headed Hunters and the Jackals who most definitely only browse the internet with incognito browsers. Each of these races brings a unique aspect of battle with them to the war against humanity either hitting like a truck or being able to level you from a country mile away.

And then we have the Grunts.

These goofy, stunted, and timid creatures may well outnumber Master Chief and friends, but they absolutely suck as warriors, quickly fleeing from the fight as soon as the tide begins to turn. They're easy to pick off and thanks to their little legs means that they ain't going anywhere quickly, meaning that you'll soon start to feel sorry for them.

On top of this, they're utterly hilarious, often pitching in with silly quips and terrified shrieks of terror as soon as the Master Chief casts a shadow onto them to the point where you actively try to keep them alive just so you can hear them spout of more one-liners.

Plus the lads huff pure methane to survive. They literally breathe farts all day. Just leave them be.

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Jules Gill hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.