9 Things That Are Only Impressive In Video Games

8. Having Friends

Friendship is simply a product of socialization. It isn't particularly impressive to consider yourself friends with several dozen people but neither is it damnable to associate with only a small circle. This couldn't be further from the truth for the main characters and storylines of video games that tear through characters and relationships like popcorn. Japanese RPGs are particularly guilty of this but any game governed by a sort of karmic or conversation system€”Fallout, Mass Effect, Infamous, Dragon Age, The Walking Dead€”tends to pick up the same habit. It's a wonder game characters have any friends at all for how creepily they stare daggers at one another with expressions so frequently residing in the deeper portion of the Uncanny Valley. Even if you manage to maintain eye contact, you're constantly just one poor dialogue choice away from turning that friendship to vendetta. Known the boy since childhood but happen to differ on whether light or heavy armor is best? Meet your new nemesis! Been glued to the girl for years but showed up late to her birthday party? She's out destroying the world and the blood is on your hands, Captain Punctual. Games like Disgaea, Persona and Shin Megami Tensei are testament to the fickleness of even the most sophisticated AI companions, and make for some hard-earned friends. Games like Hatoful Boyfriend€”which is to say Hatoful Boyfriend alone, because what on Earth is comparable to it€”however, are at least a reminder that romancing a pigeon deserves applause regardless of whether it was done in a game.
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A freelance games writer, you say? Typically battling his current RPG addiction and ceaseless perfectionism? A fan of horror but too big a sissy to play for more than a couple of hours? Spends far too much time on JRPGs and gets way too angry with card games? Well that doesn't sound anything like me.