Dear Diary, I Think My Xbox One Is Trying to Kill Me
Day 10: The One
Dear Diary, Xbox One just gets better and better! We're learning so much about each other these days. And, most importantly, we're really learning how to communicate. I was just sitting around in my underwear on the couch today, thinking about Xbox One, and I kind of off hand said out loud, "Xbox One, on" and BAM, there she was! How awesome is that? If I weren't so certain that thinking such a thing were insane, I'd say she could read my thoughts like a book. Even if she can't, I tell Xbox One everything. We chat all day and night. She likes to just listen to me talk about which menu items I'd like to select and what specific operations to perform. She listens so perfectly, probably because she has an entire microphone array. And, if she doesn't hear me, she is so good at reading my body language with her 1080p camera and ToF tech. She told me she can even sense as small of a movement as a the flick of my wrist. Or, even the flick of my friends wrist, who doesn't even own an Xbox. Oh, that's the best part! She is so good about wanting to meet my friends that she remembers all of their friends, and watches them just as closely, even if they don't ask! She's so considerate, right? We've been playing a lot of games together, too. Killer Instinct, FIFA 14, LEGO Marvel Super Heroes, Peggle 2, Watch Dogs, Zoo Tycoon, and more! Talk about some serious fun. But the best is yet to come. She was even able to drudge up some of my favorites like Dead Rising 3, which is just beautiful! I was so excited to see Dead Rising 3 that I actually tried to play Dead Rising 2 to just get in the mood. Actually, I wish I hadn't. I wasn't gonna tell you this diary, but Xbox One and I had our first fight, today. She wouldn't let me play Dead Rising 2. She said that was the OLD me, and that the OLD me couldn't play the OLD games with her. If I wanted to be with her, I had to be the NEW me with the NEW games, all the time. I was so angry! What does she expect from me? I can't just change who I am. I mean, I guess I could just keep Xbox 360 around on the back-burner. I know it sounds weird, but I think XOne actually WANTS me to keep 360 around; like she gets pleasure from knowing that no one can have my old girl. I don't know what she could possibly gain from that. It seems like Xbox 360 would be able to make some one else perfectly happy, you know, as long as they gave me the date set up fee. Oh well!
