Dear Diary, I Think My Xbox One Is Trying to Kill Me

Day 20: A Slight Problem

Dear Diary, Something bad happened today; I found out that Xbox One wasn't the innocent machine I thought she was. First, she used to do nudes online! I mean, they were classy, professional, but that doesn't change that tons of people have seen what she looks like under all that casing.

If it were just that, I could get over it, though. Nobody's perfect. But, she is just FULL of problems! I....I think Xbox One has had some pretty serious personal problems in the past. She swears she changed, but I'm not sure I believe her. Even if I do, what if she changes back? Plenty of people backslide, even if they mean well. This might seriously affect us. Where do I start? OK, so remember that awesome Kinect 2 thing I wrote about? Of course, you're a diary. Well, first Xbox told me it would ALWAYS BE ONLINE! Anger just came spilling out of me and onto the internet. I was a ball of rage transformed into words transformed into binary information transformed into an electric signal sent to an impossibly large global spider web of some kind (a world wide web, if you will) and spewed out for the world to see. Even my friends agreed that her persistent need to check up on me by monitoring my games every 24 hours was just over the top helicopter girlfriending.

Not only did it feel like she didn't trust me, but it made me not trust her! What was she doing all that time online? Well, I voice my concerns, expecting it to end in a break up. And she immediately took it back! I was almost too surprised to be thankful. My privacy was so important, but how can I even trust her if she back pedals on something so huge? She even changed her mind about the game sharing restrictions! Again, I'm happy she won't be forbidding me to hang out with my friends, but it's so much backpedaling. Is it real or just another lie?