4. Pirates Should Use Condoms
Despite all the care-free pirating fun, the looting, the sailing and the drug taking, pirates have some problems of their own, notably in the sexual health department. They often voice concerns for their malfunctioning genitalia. This happens so often (usually just before a surprise knife is thrust through their heart) that it seems that the majority of the swashbuckling fiends are having the same issue. They are quick to blame a recent encounter with a working girl, but throughout the islands, there is not one prostitute to be found. This raises the suspicion that they are engaging in pirate based love-ins to pass the lonely island nights. But whether it is the alleged prostitute or a drug fuelled pirate orgy, they should all use protection.
3. Rarer Animals Make Nicer Bags
So youve just slaughtered your way into the possession of a perfectly decent batch of 20 fresh buffalo hides, but you dont want to be crafting a syringe kit from just any old tat. Far Cry teaches us how to be a fashion-conscious man about town: only the best will do. What quality would make a buffalo better to make into a bag? A rare buffalo! It might appear that this wouldnt make too much difference to the animals ability to become pouch, but it does. Its a status thing, you cant just have a cassowary arrow quiver, you must have a yellow neck cassowary arrow quiver. You cant be like every other stranded westerner on the island fighting for the freedom of their friends, that's so last winter. Yes, conventional thinking will tell you that a bear covered in bullet holes and machete scars would make a terrible wallet. In fact, it would make the best wallet you can imagine. Despite the blemishes and punctures, the bear is famous, and everyone on the island will know that you killed it, to make your leaky wallet.