Everyone remembers their first car. Youd slave for weeks in a dead-end part-time job to tally up enough to buy half a rustbucket, before going to your parents cap-in-hand to beg for the rest. And to be honest, its a fond memory as sage-like people are proud of pointing out, theres no harm in taking pride in your labours, and when you drove around that heavy, sputtering, tetanus receptacle, you felt pretty damn good about it. But in Los Santos, labours is quite an elastic term. Sure, it can mean jumping through soul-crushing hoops at your teenage fast-food job, but it can equally mean strolling up to any car you like and that includes the Bugatti, Zonda, Ferrari or Mercedes knock-offs and casually booting their affluent owner out. Pretty easy really, and a lot less effort than slaving day after day behind the chicken greaser. In fact, the whole steal-anything motto works for precisely anyone in San Andreass premier city. Despite living in a crime-ridden hellhole, the residents of LS have a stubborn sense of civic pride and will forever dig their heels in when they should be locking their car doors. Its a troubling moral lesson, but as anyone will tell you, crime most certainly, absolutely, one-hundred-percent pays. After all, what's the point of working when you can steal hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars worth of aeroplanes just by wandering onto the right airfield at the right time? Remember, it costs countless millions to buy a Hydra from the internet, but it only takes three beers and a terrible car to drive into Fort Zancudo and nick one. With such options easily available, what does that mean for the current capitalist system? Theres no need for money, because lets face it, everyone just nicks what they want, banana-yellow paintjobs aside. And though the garages do roaring business, Im sure its not enough to keep a whole city afloat, especially if everyone keeps getting shot outside the equally affluent gun shops. It's a problem, no doubt about it.
Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League.
You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.
