Legend Of Zelda: 5 Reasons Nintendo Should NOT Be Remastering Skyward Sword
4. Fi Makes Navi Look Like Garrus
Anyone who played Ocarina of Time will shudder at the phrase "Hey, Listen!".
The above two-word catch phrase was made infamous by Navi, OoT's floating fairy companion. Navi uttered the phrase at every available opportunity - when fighting an enemy, when near a point of interest, in your dreams while you slept...
It would take thirteen years, but Nintendo eventually surpassed themselves and delivered a companion even more irritating than Ocarina's winged blob of light. Fi, Skyward Sword's floating android-esque sidekick, is so utterly infuriating that Navi looks like Mass Effect's universally-adored Garrus in comparison.
How did Nintendo accomplish this feat in games design malevolence? Simple.
By...making....Fi....talk....like....this....for....every....damn....conversation!
Fi's absurdly slow speech patterns quickly go beyond parody, and into the realm where you wonder if Nintendo are deliberately screwing with their customers. Especially when Fi pulls her party trick - repeating information you've just heard back at you in super slow-motion.
In a masterclass of trolling, every major conversation in Skyward Sword is given an immediate, unskippable re-cap by Fi. Sentence after sentence detailing a conversation you just had crawls by on screen, as Fi summarises information you received literally seconds ago at the speed of continental drift.
Even if Nintendo fix this for the remaster, it won't bring back the time gamers everywhere wasted on wading through Fi's endless, pointless monologues.