These Gaming Mechanics Suck! AGAIN!

So here we are, the literal pits of video game mechanics, and trust me these are three day old no washing, just done a hike stinkers.

I'm speaking of course about Slow NPCs. And if you're sitting there thinking to yourself "what is this wet cardboard head talking about" I want you to ask yourself this question. How many times have you, as a video game player, tried to run into the back of an NPC who is walking on a guided path just to hurry them the f*ck up?

Seriously, nothing snubs my candle out quicker than having an NPC go "we must hurry! follow me to the portal/door/passage that only I can open, it's on the other side of this castle so let's make haste!" only for them to move slower than goddam erosion causing me to literally run circles around them or sprint off into the distance and have enough time to go make a cup of tea.

I have no idea why developers choose to make these NPCs move at a pace that is slightly quicker than your walking animation but miles slower than your running one, meaning you have to hover in that thumbstick graveyard between these two points. It feels wrong, like my fingers are looking up NSFW images and the rest of my hand is just as repulsed often slipping between these two points awkwardly.

Yet you know what, much like what we're going to experience when Brexit finally hits, it can always get worse friends, because sometimes, and I seriously hope there's a special place in hell for these devs, sometimes they make it so that you need to keep pace with these NPC's or risk a mission failure if you fall too far behind or move too far ahead of them!

Please for the love of God, the end of the world is quite literally here, move those buns like they're burning pal!