These Mini-Games SUCK!

When you're a mighty adventurer on an epic quest to slay the great evils of the land, it's pretty much required that you be a Jack of All Trades, as while you can swing a blade that can cut mountains in half, it's a bit less impressive when you're unable to cook a basic meal to feed yourself.

Therefore it's pretty common in video games to find mini-games and sidequests that show off our chosen avatars swiss-army knife-styled skills. From engaging in sporting events to shaking their rump on a dance floor for prizes and renown, there's almost nothing our heroes can't do at a moment's notice.

However, that's not to say all these mini-game distractions are actually fun to play through, or even well designed in the slightest, making for experiences that are utterly draining for the player. Thankfully because of their nature, many of the mini-games we're going to be discussing today are options, but still, that doesn't stop them from smelling like utter dog dick when you come face to face with them.

Sometimes an RPG is only as good as the freedom that it affords its players, as gamers the world over are more likely to stay invested in an 80-100 hour playthrough if they feel that their character is evolving and changing along with them.

An easy way to instil this from the off is to offer players a wealth of customisation in how to approach not only their own look but the missions and tasks at hand. It's why a tonne of titles advertise that you can reach the end goal in multiple ways, and it's why many, including the Elder Scrolls series, place such a heavyweight on dialogue choices.

With the right dialogue options, you could play as a hardened war veteran with a chip on their shoulder, a joke-addled man-baby with a penchant for puns, or even a smooth-talking ladykiller who's carrying more than a Glock in his pocket....in that it's a stick of TNT as he just loooooves explosives.

Yet when it came to The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and it's Trivial Pursuit Pie Wheel Of persuasion, this was akin to opening a conversation by burping a haddock breath waft into someones face.

The idea is simple on paper, find what the person you're speaking with likes by looking at their faces and then moving the pie wheel around to get the best outcome. The problem is, however, is that it's utterly broken!

Seriously there is almost no consequence to failing at the mini-game because you're able to immediately hop back in to try again and again until you hit max affinity. And those animation cues? Well, I tell you what friend, La Noire this ain't, and is more akin to LA Naaaw I'm ok bud I don't want whatever it is you dropped at the party.

The faces are the stuff of nightmares and because of the lack of repercussions, it makes for an experience you have to force yourself through but will care so little about it. A big boo on both key levels of game design.