These Video Game Deaths SUCK!

I know that all this chat about dying in horrible and humiliating ways is likely getting you down, so how about we end things on a bang? or more specifically, a sexual encounter in a video game that could end up killing you!

We all know the absolute nut shot that was the Citra ending of Far Cry 3, where your reward for slitting the throat of your long-term girlfriend Jenny was to ride the meat-coaster with Citra only to ironically get your slot filled with a hard pokey piece. It's almost like bleeding the love of your life like a pig in exchange for sex is a BAD thing, who knew right?

Well it's not the only game that will bury you deep for trying to get your rocks off, Morinth from Mass Effect 2 might well cause your spacesuit to suddenly feel tight in the crotch, but that's nothing compared to the grip she has on your mind balls, as she'll kill you if you decided to mate with her after betraying Samara in her companion quest. Again the message here seems to be, don't betray those closest to you in the pursuit of sexy space aliens, but it doesn't stop the death from sucking quite a fair bit.

However, hands down the deaths that definitely suck the most when it comes to sex, have to be found in the Leisure Suit Larry games, in which your desperate act to unload your DNA might cause you to get a case of STD's so advanced that they can kill you in moments, or worse still in the sequel to the original game, kill you in multiple horrible ways if you choose to romance any woman who ISN'T the main love interest.

After all, what these deaths do here is to punish the player for playing the game the way they want. Sure actions have consequences but what these experiences show you is that there really isn't a true choice on offer, it's "play like a good guy to survive or risk death by snu-snu".

What a way to go though. 10 seconds of joy for a world of pain to follow. *Off Camera* 10 Seconds is the average right? Right?