These Video Game Deaths SUCK!

Ok hands up who's poo'd themselves as an adult, come on we're all friends here lads, this is a circle of trust, no judgment.

*pauses*

AHHH Got you! You dirty dingleberry-dropping dogs! You seriously dropped a fudge flume in your pantaloons? As an adult? hahaha....*pauses* Yeah me too I genuinely had a severe case of food poisoning and almost died. Real talk. Yeah, I even remember what did it, a Mango Chicken dish from Asda that I remember reading that it was recalled literally 10 minutes after eating it. I felt lower than a piece of low, and my stomach dropped out my arse harder than respect for the Dead Space series did when the 3rd entry flopped out.

Still, I can honestly say, hand on arse, that death by pooping too much is not how I want to go out, yet even though I just covered a death in the Sims that literally puts the ass in embarrassing it seems that other games can't wait to pile on the poo-centric pain.

Take for example the absolute exercise in frustration that is The Oregon Trail and its infamous "death by dysentery". In this education title its your job to make it along this famous route without dying in one of the many, many horrible ways that people did historically at this time. Starvation, dehydration, drowning in a river, all of these seem like the types of noble and glorious deaths that would get the Dynasty Warriors peckers standing to attention when compared to death by Dysentery, a sickness that makes you...well...crap yourself to death in an incredibly painful manner.

So the lesson here it seems from this educational video game is too....not s**t yourself? Good advice! And one that is clearly NOT listened to when it comes to "Don't s**t Yourself: The Video Game" in which if you poo your pants, you lose more than just your dignity, you lose the bloody game.

Worse still if you try and outsmart this stinker of a title by trying to kill yourself and avoid being tricked into dropping a brown trout, you will STILL s**t YOURSELF as your body evacuates its bowels upon dying. Great stuff.

Still, at least this is mildly better than Conkers Great Mighty Poo, a boss made of literal arse coal who may end up drowning the poor red squirrel in a typhoon of feces. Imagine that, being taken out of this world by a sentient piece of s**t, and to make matters worse the bastard is singing while he flushes your life down the toilet!