These Video Game Moral Choices SUCK!

Ramsay Bolton - Game Of Thrones

Actually speaking of calming down let's talk about Ramsay Bolton who is to behaving like a good little boy what I am to wet bread, aka he's having !*$% none of it mate as he's not a duck! He's a bit of a rotten egg to say the least, and anyone with even a passing knowledge of Game Of Thrones will know that being in the same room as this clown is akin to sticking your genitals into a beehive and hoping for the best, so any interaction you have with him in Telltale's Game of Thrones series was always going to be tense.

And you're presented with a moral choice right off the bat when he pops over to the castle for a cup of tea and starts eyeing up your sister. Now as a good brother you should probably go make sure she's ok, but you also have the option to just let him have be an absolute seat sniffer but get through the day with your head still not caved in, but here's where it gets interesting as no matter what you choose, Ethan who you'd been playing as for a lengthy stint, is suddenly stabbed in the throat by Ramsay and left to die.

This absolutely sucked for multiple reasons, namely A you just bloody died and I'm sorry what mate? and B, even if you chose to bend the knee and keep the piece you're still given a medieval tracheotomy so how can you win? The answer it seemed was that you couldn't and all the preceding moral quandaries you faced were utterly meaningless. Now I'm not mad because this was actually pretty decent storytelling that subverted player expectations but as a situation that totally sucked, well ding ding we have a winner.

Oh sorry incoming call - hello dial a !*$%? Yeah I know I could use this segment to talk about The Walking Dead and how it uses the illusion of choice in order to mask what is actually a very linear story, but you know what I'm addressing those themes with my next entry. What do you mean you don't know what I'm on about? well if you'd stop phoning in to tell me how to do my job and just watch the video we'd move on quicker, and hang on how are you phoning me while I'm still shooting the bloody thing? What do you mean this is just my hand? That's it, good day Mr Prime Minister.

And speaking of reality breaking moments, let's talk about Bandersnatch, Hello dial a !*$% yes I know it's not a video game, bye. However it's an experience about video games, played with a remote controller, with multiple choices so please just humor an old man. And you know what? I really enjoyed this Black Mirror special event, it was well acted, had some entirely silly moments and of course it had Will Poulter saying "Bandersnatch" like a dirty pervert.