These Video Game Remasters SUCK!

Polishing a gem with utter crap.

These Remasters SUCK
Blizzard Entertainment

Remasters. It's a term that will either cause your body to wobble with joyous anticipation or make your spine almost invert as you enter a cringe singularity. To call the act of updating and tinkering with the code of absolutely classic video game a double-edged sword may indeed be an understatement when you look at the two very distint camps on the subject.

Some argue the joy of being able to bring old experiences to new platforms, with updated graphics, features and other bonuses, yet others, the more pessimistic of the bunch, see this as just another excuse to wheel out nostalgia and charge you over the top odds for the privilege. Sure it might have a new coat of paint on it, but some remasters are anything but, and are in fact lazy, poorly executed exploitations of our past for pure profit.

So let's look at some of these fresh faces who were actually fading fast under the facade, as today we're looking at Remasters that absolutely, one hundred percent, SUCK.

6. Silent Hill HD Collection

These Remasters SUCK

Konami. I do not, for the love of christ know what is wrong with you. It's like every single move you make is hounded by abysmal life decisions, is this a cry for help? Should we be checking this developer into rehab or something? Because it appears that whoever was in charge of the Silent Hill HD Collection was eating !*$% wall insulation like it was goddam candy floss.

This experience, which promised die-hard fans a fresh, revamped, and definitive way to play the classic Silent Hill 2 and 3 games was an unmitigated disaster. A skip fire that set the entire fanbase ablaze with hatred for both Konami and Hijinks Studio who was in charge of the remaster, and it was all down to one thing.

Producer 1 - Ok let's run through the checklist because when I press this button the game will get released to the public, and you know how Silent Hill fans are like!

Producer 2 - Sure thing! Ok! Updated Graphics?

P1 - Check!

P2 - Updated Voice Over Dialogue?

P1 - Check!

P2 - A Stable Frame Rate?

P1 - Looooool good one mate, that wasn't on the list! I Think we're good to go! *Hits button*

P2 - Wait did we put the fog back in?

P1 - Oh Fuuuuuu-

Yes, that's right Silent Hill HD released fog. The thick blanket that had given the area such an eerie sense of foreboding was gone and in its place were areas devoid of atmosphere and actual fear as a result.

Now to be fair to Hijinks this is much more Konami's fault than their own, not just because of the sheer lack of care that came to reviewing the product, but also because they didn't even give the studio the entire source code to work with in the first place! Meaning that Hijinks had to pull some of their own and remake the game for them!

Oh and to top all of this off, a patch was released for PS3 owners to add the fog back in and fix some other issues, but NOT for the Xbox 360. SCREW YOU MICROSOFT!

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Jules Gill hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.