These Video Game Skills SUCK!

When it comes to video game annoyances, water levels are usually very high on everyone's NOT LIST, and there's only really a handful of games that have done digital dripiness right. The rest is an ocean of agony.

Anyway as a little bonus to you lovely people I'm grouping three, yes that's right three useless water based skills in one section

So let's plunge into the piss with Two Worlds, a game which is, for all intents and purposes, ABSOLUTELY BROKEN, however for the most part it's utterly hilarious. For example you can kill the final boss by getting him to aggro some peasants who can't be killed who then just decimate him.

NICE.

However this see-saw also works the other way and that's why we have the absolutely useless skill you can invest in which allows you to wear armour while swimming.

NOT SO NICE.

Why is this such a pointless endeavour? Well here's the thing, in Two Worlds, you can't drown, nor is there any timer based missions, nor are there any enemies that attack you in the water. So you're basically doing this to save you going to the inventory to un-equip your armour. That's it. Absolute waste of my goddamn time.

Next up, let's backstroke up my back passage and talk about Eco, a rather brilliant game about building settlements with your friends in a Minecraft-esque world. It's charming, it's cute, it's absolutely inoffensive, except for one tiny detail and that's the self improvement skill "Diver", which as the name might suggest helps you swim faster underwater.

Well that's great, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to slip through the water like a seal? The problem is that you barely spend any time IN the water, and over the course of 30 hours you'll likely only spend 30 minutes taking a dip. When there are so many other brilliant attributes to choose from you'll feel like a goddamn fool for spending your time unlocking this.

And we finish up our mini trilogy of trash with a headfirst dive into the dung that is Deus Ex's Swimming Skill. Now Deus Ex itself is a pure joy, a true and blue roleplaying experience that makes every choice you make feel important.

Except for one.

Again this skill sounds really useful on paper - being able to hold your breath and move faster - but there are next to no actual underwater sections in the game and they're often littered with re-breathers completely negating the effect of the skill.

In fact, it's so useless that ANOTHER skill comes along and does it better! The Healing Augmentation you can get repairs your health quicker than you lose it when drowning, meaning that you'll never have to worry about underwater sections as you'll never die if you run out of air.

You know that meme with Principal Skinner looking down saying "pathetic"? that's how the Healing Augmentation treats this washed up skill.