These Wrestling Video Games SUCK!

So let's face some hard truths Jack, Hulk Hogan, for a rather unreasonable amount of time, and thanks to some prima donna backstage politicking, was the face of wrestling. The ugly, so bald it makes me look like I'm rocking a full man, hotdogged skinned, racist face of wrestling.

Hulk is a man that was both brilliant for and at the same time the utter worst for the wrestling industry, drawing crowds with one hand and pushing down talent with his other and throughout all of this, his ego has remained as inflated as his 'roided up Pythons.

It's this ego that has to lead to some of his most catastrophic failures (gestures to TNA) but there is no greater example of this in video game form than Hulk Hogan's Main Event.

For starters. Ew. This game looks like if wet coiled turds were stuffed into spandex. I can see that the devs were going for an over-the-top and cartoonish look, but seriously it's like looking at a case study of what a diet of Monster Energy drink and inbreeding would produce.

The gameplay doesn't fare much better seeing as it's tied to the Kinnect which was about as sensitive as asking out your mate's widow at his funeral, and as such you better get used to missing your attacks brother, because even if you say your prayers and eat your vitamins the Hulkster isn't going to save you here.

Hell Hulk couldn't even help if he wanted to seeing as the bleach-blonde !*$% isn't even in the game! Sure he stands at the ringside and cheers you on, but Hogan didn't record any voice lines for the title and you can't even play as him.

For a game called Hulk Hogan's Main Event, not being able to play as the titular star is actually incredible. Whatcha Gonna Do? I'm going to ask for my !*$% money back.