10 Things Only First Time Fathers Understand

1. Whatever Happens, You're Probably Going To Be Okay

Baby Old Man
© LAN/Corbis

Only probably though. There’s still a chance that you’ll accidentally drop your baby onto a hardwood floor, or rear it in such a way that it’ll grow up to murder you. But that’s unlikely. Probably.

Regardless of what the smug-faced matter-of-facters used to mutter about how you’ve no idea what’s going to hit you when your baby is born after watching you spend every weekend lying supine on the settee, drinking lager and scratching yourself, you’re probably going to be okay.

You adapt; you adjust; you establish routines. You fall in love with a titchy version of you that doesn’t talk back and enjoys sleeping, going to the toilet and moaning. That’s basically what all fathers do so you’ve hit the jackpot for a new, mini best mate – you’re winning already.

Best of luck not being a sh*t dad!

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Chris James Peet says hello. His interests include hoping for the best and sitting in chairs. He much prefers moaning to counting his blessings and suffers fools gladly. He also likes to look out of the window and check what's in the fridge but he hates standing up, dripping taps and reality.