If you ever venture further than the running machines and Jacuzzis, you will hear this monster from several hundred feet. Their wild calls tend to include 'Aargh!' 'Hooooo!' and short refrains of 'Ha!' (if this 'Ha!' came from an angry, muscle-bound version of a circus clown). They can be identified not only from their Nike vests and sleeve tattoos but also from their gym buddy, an equally terrifying muscle-bound beast who is there to 'spot him'. To 'spot' someone is to basically stand beside your partner and watch them lift an unbelievable amount of weight before patting them on their back with a 'Good one, mate'. Essentially, the Spot-Monster's buddy is a Yummy Mummy because they watch other people work out and compliment them on it. You'd never dare say this to either individual though. Also, the Spot-Monster will never be seen near a running machine but can be spotted in the Sauna, staying in for time periods that would make most grown people weep. Avoid eye contact with them at all times, particularly if you are a skinny wretch who's just joined. You're not in their club and unless you scream to the sound of clattering metal, you'll never be allowed in anyway.
