10 Doctor Who Fates Worse Than Death

5. Absorbed into the Absorbaloff's Right Buttock

Doctor Who
BBC

You know Victor Kennedy is a wrong 'un from the minute he arrives at his first LINDA meeting. He takes everything too seriously, wants to prove that he's the smartest guy in the room and stamps out any sort of fun and enjoyment. A Doctor Who fan on Twitter, basically.

But this performative fandom conceals his true intention. In a glorious bit of over-acting from Peter Kay, the Abzorbaloff is revealed, wagging his tongue and writhing around in his chair. He hasn't murdered the missing LINDA members, he's absorbed them into his physical form.

Imagine it, not dead but living on inside the belly, chest or hip of a grotesque alien creature dreamt up by a Blue Peter competition winner. If that wasn't chilling enough, poor Bliss is doomed to spend her life on the Abzorbaloff's right arse cheek. Hardly the most desirable of living conditions, especially on an alien whose home planet is twinned with that of the notoriously gassy Slitheen. No wonder she and the other members of LINDA choose death when they're presented with the opportunity.

Contributor
Contributor

Citizen of the Universe, Film Programmer, Writer, Podcaster, Doctor Who fan and a gentleman to boot. As passionate about Chinese social-realist epics as I am about dumb popcorn movies.