12. J. Walter Weatherman
It isn't hard to see why the Bluth children all turned out horribly when you consider that, for much of their childhood, they were subjected to the cruel tutelage of J. Walter Weatherman, a man who George Snr. frequently used to hire in order to teach them "life lessons." And not in any conventional sense, by any means. George Snr. would hire Weatherman, a man with one arm, to get into fake accidents (always involving the prosthetic arm flying off and blood spilling out) to teach his kids how to behave. Thing is, the lessons that George Snr. opts to teach them are so minor. The lesson "always leave a note," for example, is drummed into their heads by way of a fake accident, where George hits Weatherman with his car and his "arm" is ripped out of his socket. Weatherman approaches the kids in the back of the car and says: "And that's why... you always... leave... a note." Other lessons include: "And that's why you don't yell." Horrific.