14. I Take Thee Quagmire
Season: 4
Episode: 21
Original Air Date: March 12th, 2006 Peter appears on Wheel Of Fortune and ends up winning a free week's worth of maid service. His new maid, Joan, arrives, and Peter has her doing all sorts of dumb tasks that serve no purpose. You know... because he's Peter Griffin and all. After being introduced to Joan, Quagmire begins to fall for her, and they begin dating. It isn't long before they're engaged to be married, but the guys notice that Quagmire's personality has changed since he met Joan. He is no longer the sex fiend that they all know and love. Now, he has turned into a domesticated "house husband", of sorts, and they don't like it. At the wedding, Peter attempts to get the old Quagmire back by spilling champagne on Lois' breasts, which have gotten much larger since she stopped breastfeeding Stewie. Trying to dry her off, Peter grabs her and shakes her, causing her breasts to bounce and jiggle around. Seeing the entire thing, Quagmire snaps out of his "spell" and realizes that he has made a huge mistake in getting married. Unfortunately for him, Joan has basically threatened to kill him and her if their marriage were to end, so he feels he is low on options. Peter comes up with the idea of helping Quagmire fake his death to get out of the marriage. The "death" is played on video to Joan, and it consists of Quagmire being attacked by a ninja, played by Joe, a Nazi, played by Cleveland, and then a "pots and pans" robot, played by Peter. Finally, Quagmire's body is devoured by a dinosaur, which is a prop clearly held off-camera by Peter as the Jurassic Park theme plays. As you're watching the video, you absolutely cannot help but to laugh as it just drags on and on. Obviously, Joan doesn't believe the video, and the guys are forced to try other options to help Quagmire. The video alone is nearly enough to have the episode ranked on a list like this, but the entire episode is funny, and we see how far Quagmire's friends are willing to go to help him.