10 Best Possible Last Words Of Vince McMahon
"Life SUCKS, and then you die!"
Vince McMahon is not dead. Well, not at time of writing.
If you're reading this and he is, then please consider this a loving tribute to the man's mythical picadillos rather than some sort of tragicomic obituary. To be honest, if he legitimately has shuffled off this mortal coil as you're reading this, there's probably more to worry about about the stare of the coil itself - how are you reading this? How is reading still part of wider communication? How has the world finally conspired to book an ending to the Vince McMahon Vs Death streak he'd kept going all those years?
The Chairman - like his own incredible mother and every single one of his dated booking strategies - somehow survives to this day, having lived about 14 different lives in the one he's been given. Like all elder statesmen that have seemingly seen and done it all several times over, he's most likely not that enthused about reliving his past, which is just one of the reasons us urchins will never be given the definitive tome on him whilst he's still breathing and (not) sneezing, and why some of wrestling's biggest questions will never have definitive answers.
Unless he pops the boys at the bitter end...
10. "The Attitude Era Was A Fluke"
Vince McMahon's infamous December 15th 1997 address in which he completely pole-axed the last five years of his product in order to clear the path for the one he'd clunkily been initiating for the year preceding it was, if nothing else, bold as f*ck.
Most have pointed to the 'Cure For The Common Show' as the formal commencement of the Attitude Era, but it was in actuality an acknowledgement that it had been already been going on for months. McMahon didn't see half of it happening just as he didn't that the Mr McMahon gimmick was a heel until a combination of his wisest heads (Jim Ross, Bruce Prichard, Jim Cornette) and wildest ones (Vince Russo, Ed Ferrara, his own nutcase son) made peace across the writers room with a compromise of old and lots and lots of new.
Imagine that, rather than make another celebratory DVD when he pops his clogs, he instead admits as much.
Admits that Jim Ross signed just about all the difference-makers he couldn't see for himself. Admit that he couldn't wait for the cheers he assumed he'd get after screwing Bret Hart. Admit that he was about to sign Ultimate f*cking Warrior in the December before Steve Austin won the 1998 Royal Rumble.
"GET IT?"