10 Most Paused WWE Moments
In which the Undertaker, Mr. McMahon and Brock Lesnar create VHS snow static...
Christ, imagine pausing WWE now, and adding even an extra second to Monday Night RAW.
The entire promotion is on pause, or at least, that seems to be the excuse for the deadening standstill of endless rematches and prolonged feuds. WWE is simply waiting for fans to return, at which point they will bring back the halcyon days of 2019, in which wins and losses mattered and fresh, highly-anticipated matches were promoted on a weekly basis.
These issues have plagued WWE for some time - decades - but they're even more pronounced in 2021. The artless quest for content is so miserable at this point that WWE seem hopelessly aware of the fact that it elicits something worse than boredom. Drew McIntyre is slowly garnering resentment because he hasn't done anything to warrant these constant challenges. In the script, he simply feels entitled to them. There are no rankings through which to earn the shot, no brutal heavy heat angles to inform the grudge: just a lot of talking and demanding.
The world itself is on pause, and WWE is doing a piss-poor job of allowing its fanbase - apart from RomanSashaSZN, obviously - to escape it.
There are however some moments in WWE's abysmal recent history that warrant photographic scrutiny, purely to double-check the sheer extent to which they were abysmal...
10. The DX Flasher
"You wouldn't see this now. Pussy generation."
Now, certain moments you perverts definitely paused are omitted here. WWE's history of teenage boy/Kevin Dunn w*nk fodder yields several lists of 10, in fact. Hand prints; clingfilm; prosthetic dog ears: back in the fabled "day," the company entered a late nite phase that destroyed many a JVC 180. They won't be recounted here in depth, but for the sake of accuracy, yes, the merest hint of a tiddy compelled you to grab the remote.
Picture the scene.
You're hormonal. You're watching the Fed in 1998 after putting down the N64 controller. "Holy sh*t," you say, with 'Blind' by Korn blaring in the background. You see what appears to be a bewb. Two bewbs. Triple H, the man who later restored the dignity of women across the globe by pushing a few of them as athletes, is imploring a fired-up woman in the crowd to get 'em out for the lads.
"I can see, I can see I'm going blind / I can see, I can see I'm going blind..."
"Me too bro!"
Some of you grew up. Others are pausing RAW to this day because you're sick enough to treat Alexa Bliss as a sex object.