10 Perfect So-Bad-They’re-Good Wrestling Moments
3. Wrestling Rapping WORSE Than PN News
The AWA, in a desperate and horrendously misguided attempt to tap into the mainstream vein identified by the WWF, promoted its WrestleRock '86 event by having its top stars - almost entirely white, naturally - to spit rhymes.
That's not to say white people can't or shouldn't rap. These white guys, however, could not and should not have rapped - which is to say we're glad they're did, because this is the stuff of which schadenfreude dreams are made of.
Parody law stipulates that the first line of any rap spat by someone in the 1980s who doesn't actually know how to rap must start with the words "This is [insert name] and I'm here to say" - and yes, Ken Resnick was here to say that the best wrestlers were in the AWA. That rhymed! That was also the only tangential association any of this awfulness had to do with hip-hop.
Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty at least had the courtesy to be embarrassed. Greg Gagne was in such a "rage" - because he was due to wrestle in a steel cage, naturally - that his conviction was almost as embarrassing as his loose grasp on the truth in his later years. Nobody was briefed beforehand. They were probably too embarrassed.
That might explain why the words "mumble" and "rumble" were rhymed together at least eight times.