10 Worst WWE Matches Of 2019

2. Brock Lesnar Vs. Cain Velasquez

WWE Crown Jewel 2019 Brock Lesnar Cain Velasquez
WWE.com

The greatest indictment of Cain Velasquez's botched run is that fans didn't even care enough to taunt him with the "You tapped out!" treatment. This was WWE's version of TNA's #August1Warning, only without the meme currency.

And Cain did tap out, in under two minutes, and it's just something a babyface sports entertainer cannot do. It is framed - marketed - as a sign of cowardice. It's different in MMA, but this wasn't MMA. It was also very MMA.

Wrestling fans were told not to worry abut Cain's lack of definition because it obscured his insane engine. The match lasted two minutes. Shane McMahon could have lasted that long without looking like he was in the throes of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Well, let's not go nuts.

This was an MMA match featuring an MMA star wrestling fans didn't care about. Some clinches happened. Some hesitant kicks were thrown. Lesnar tapped him with the Kimura. The End. That'll learn AAA for...being downgraded from MSG?

The two combat disciplines are linked in everything beyond legitimacy - in big-talk match promotion and spectacle - but for how little fans cared, they might as well put on a netball match in that ring.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick (Creative Writing BA Hons) is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over a decade of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential UK institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!