7 Worst Wrestling Moments Of The Week (May 1)

4. Hornswoggle's Casual Murder Spree

Swoggle And Rockstar Spud
Impact Wrestling

Hornswoggle nearly beat a man to death this week on Impact, because the man he was bullying accidentally pulled down his pants. Now THAT'S an angle!

From management's perspective, you can see why they brought in Alberto El Patron, Matt Morgan, Magnus—and hell—MAYBE even Chris Masters. But why Swoggle? He's the worst written character in wrestling history (through no fault of his own).

Who else was given the ability to talk by Santa Claus himself? Who else has been mysteriously retroactively birthed by a 90-year-old Mae Young (which also means his brother is a giant hand)?

Anyway, if you're doing to do something crazy violent like a maniac hammer attack, at least save it for something that is going to actually matter. Swoggle in his undies doesn't really justify the assault he dished out. The way the angle has played out so far, a beating via a whoopee cushion would have been far more fitting.

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As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at." Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week. Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com