Darren Aronofsky cannot be trusted to bring any kind of healthy, idealised form of romance to the screen. The Wrestler's relationships and sex scene are horrifying (well, they do involve present-day Mickey Rourke), Black Swan saw Natalie Portman's slowly cracking ballet dancer sexually manipulate by everyone around her, and Noah had a bit where Russell Crowe considered killing Emma Watson for banging his son. Surely the worst of the worst is on offer in Requiem For A Dream, where Jared Leto and Jennifer Connelly's couple give the pairing in Smashed a run for their money. Oh, addicted to booze are you? That's nothing compared to heroin! And nothing compared to the lengths Connelly goes to get more of it, or the degree to which it destroys Leto... Post-viewing relationship status: Holding each other and weeping, fully clothed, on the living room floor. No sex for a year. Flinching whenever you hear the word ass.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
