6. He Turned The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Into Scooby Doo
Critics have long suspected that Platinum Dunes are openly contemptuous of horror fans, and nothing proves this better than their Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot, which they actually modelled on Scooby Doo. Theres these five teenagers whore driving around in a van for some reason, and their number includes a tall, slender damsel in distress, her somewhat less stunning best friend, a lantern-jawed jock, a stoner and his comic relief sidekick. Upon arriving in a small town, they encounter Creepy Locals, Weird Kids and an Evil Sheriff so wicked his face ought to be lit by a flash of lightning. Theyre even chased by a masked villain, so its a shame that Leatherface wasnt unmasked as Mr Fentonpoof, the banker who dressed up as a monster to scare people away from the old mine where he discovered gold. Platinum Dunes mightve fooled audiences, who made it a smash hit, but they couldnt fool The Boston Globe, whose critic wrote: As the eviscerations ensue, the truth becomes undeniable: this is easily the most gruesome, most pointless episode of Scooby Doo ever.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
