7. House Of The Dead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgfvYJGB2kI With a game like House of the Dead, you don't think there's much that can go wrong with a movie adaptation. It's rather simple: agent receives call from fiancé, agent investigates and finds the un-dead, agent proceeds to fight said un-dead and bosses in a bid to stop the evil mastermind and save the fiancé. Not exactly a good story, but when you're going down a zombie or un-dead movie path you're not exactly trying to provide your watchers with a gripping storyline, are you? The question is how did Uwe Boll get it so wrong? Well, it's interesting to know that until 2005, German law allowed for people who invested in films to write off their entire investment as a tax deduction, meaning that if the movie loses money the investor still gets "basically fifty percent back from the government." When you look at it, the vast majority of his films have been box office bombs and 4 of the movies on this list have had his direct involvement. But let's get started with what made House of the Dead so bad. Firstly, the movie takes the plot - and I'm using the term lightly - of the game and throws it out of the window. Basing the movie with the same name as the video game on the actual game? Please, Boll works on a different level that we can't even comprehend. The movie revolves around a bunch of kids going to an island rave party (in 2003? I thought people were content with just a visit to the local then?) and, of course, being a bunch of hormonal students, they've all got crushes on one another so that we can have a few plot twists down the road. They arrive at the island, find it's been attacked, and for the rest of the film they're picked off one by one by the zombies until 3 of them are left alive. It's your textbook b-movie zombie flick, but why on earth is it called House of the Dead? I can't even put my finger on what makes this film not only bad, but completely un-related to the game. The first half of the film is more than enough to show you why people like Uwe Boll should not be allowed anywhere near video game movies - in fact, he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near movies at all.