10 Reasons Mario Is Actually A Terrible Role Model

3. He Encourages Poor Sportsmanship

mariokart7 We have all been in the situation where you are comfortably cruising to victory in Mario Kart only for a blue shell to come out of nowhere and knock you clean off the track, sending you all the way back down to eighth. It ignites the kind of inner rage usually reserved travelling on public transport. This is because Mario likes us to play in an environment which rewards those who are less skilled and this is because he is a terrible loser, if he is occupying last position and knows he cannot win he will use all the blue shells and shrink-inducing lightning bolts at his disposal to ensure the victor's inevitable triumph comes at great personal frustration. It is not the sort of sportsmanship I would want to see from anybody, as an Englishman I know all too well the pain of quietly accepting defeat, but it is the right and proper way to do it. If we take our cues from Mario then the England football team would probably just "do a Bane" and level the stadium every time a game goes to penalties.
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Tom is a budding novelist and film critic who is slowly coming to terms with the fact he might be too old to play for Arsenal. Follow him on Twitter for updates on his lunch @TomGilchrist