10 Reasons You're Wrong About Mass Effect 3's Ending

by Luke Lafontaine

1. The Synthesis Ending Is Ridiculously Feel-Good

BioWare
BioWare

The green ending is just about the happiest ending you could dream of. Seriously, who could have thought at the beginning of ME 2that it would all end on such a wildly optimistic note?

Seriously, the war's over, and not only are the bad guys our new BFF's, but everybody in the galaxy could be on the way to total enlightenment and even immortality.

The whole thing is bursting with uplifting imagery that tugs at the soul, albeit with the subtlety of a jackhammer. The moment the husk's eyes light up with sympathy, the Geth chatting it up with the unmasked Quarian -new advances are now making absolutely everything betterthan it's ever been, all thanks to the magic of coming together for a better tomorrow. Like really, really together. And by ending hate, we're actually going to kill death itself. Are you freakin'kidding?

Finally, although this is mentioned nowhere in-game, the whole thing implies that Joker is finally going to be able to make a flesh n' blood woman out of EDI.

If you're grouchy enough to watch this ending and leave unhappy, then this begs the question: when you go out to boo Christmas plays, do you bring eggs or tomatoes?

I rest my case... Any responses? Any additions? Give me your best shot in the comments!

Watch Next


Contributor
Contributor

CKUT radio host, underground lyricist, Michael Myers scholar and all-around world-class opiner. Signature move: Irony Bomb. Blood type: chai. Never seen in the same place and time as Logic Johnson, former featured columnist for Bleacher Report. Hopelessly unfamiliar with Yellow Submarine.