10 Videogame Characters Who Inexplicably Survived A Sh*tload Of Punishment

10. Max Payne €“ The Max Payne Series

Max Payne The Max Payne games go out of their way to tell gritty, noir tales grounded in a sense of realism. As befitting that philosophy, Max himself starts the series as something of an everyman €“ he was just a police detective whose wife and baby was murdered by drug addicts, so throws he throws himself into anti-narcotics work so others don€™t share the same fate. So far, so good €“ Max is a relatable protagonist who reacted how somebody may react when faced with such horror. Yet there comes a point after you€™ve mowed down your thousandth goon, faced down a helicopter and slow-moed across New York that you realise Max isn€™t a normal man. In fact, I€™m not even sure he€™s human. Let€™s look at the facts €“ during the canon, Max rarely if ever undergoes medical treatment for his myriad bullet wounds, and he does get shot a lot. On top of that, he doesn€™t even bandage himself up when he is badly wounded, instead relying on painkillers. That€™s right, painkillers. This man would probably consider 50 Cent a weakling for only being shot nine times, and it€™s part of his daily routine to get pistol-whipped before breakfast, and yet he believes he can wish away the pain with tablets. He€™s not even bandaging himself up when he gets shot €“ for all intents and purposes, Max is still carrying those bullets round in his body. I€™m surprise he doesn€™t jingle like a stuffed purse. Essentially, the only thing holding Max together is hate, whiskey and bullets. The man€™s a marvel of science. His liver could probably tell us all the secrets of the universe.
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Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League. You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.