10 Videogame Characters Who Inexplicably Survived A Sh*tload Of Punishment

7. Most Protagonists €“ The Call of Duty Games

Captain Price Often, there€™s no fun in going for low-hanging fruit, such as mocking the Call of Duty franchise. But sometimes the low-hanging fruit is just so delicious it simply has to be done. So dammit, I€™m going to go for it. Granted, I could have gone for any of the modern first-person-shooters that Modern Warfare spawned, but why attack the limbs if you could go for the heart? If you€™re even halfway familiar with the modern first person shooter €“ which statistically about 99.4% of people are, including the Amish €“ you€™ll know how CoD works. You, as the battle-hardened oscar-miking oo-rahing military grunt of the day, run from point A to B in some of the most bombastic linear sequences ever programmed. In between, there are bullets. Lots and lots of bullets. If one happens to find you, jam smears all over your screen in increasing volume and urgency. At the moment, this seems normal. The jam is clearly meant to be blood but we€™re tolerant people so we let it slide. Yet we all know what happens next €“ you hide behind a wall and all your problems go away, and for all intents and purposes you can sprint around in ten seconds time with chest full of buckshot and a head full of dreams. I€™m sorry, but what? Really? This surely raises questions, such as what the hell medics do in this army. They must surely be the most bored people in the world, being told to stay inside because Captain Price is more than capable of walking off a grenade attack. Now, I€™m well aware that SAS guys shooting each other with rifles is their equivalent of saying good morning, but Christ, this is actually amazing. It hasn€™t dawned on the rest of your squad that you and Price are wonders of the age yet, but eventually that moustachioed man will get the recognition he and his bionic abilities deserves. Of course, this does make it all the more confusing when you're shot once and die in the obligatory death sequence. Was Shepherd carrying magic bullets in that gun? I don't know, but it must've taken something special to fell these Terminator-esque dudes.
Contributor
Contributor

Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League. You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.