10 Videogame Characters Who Inexplicably Survived A Sh*tload Of Punishment

5. John Mullins €“ The Soldier of Fortune Series

John Mullins If you didn€™t love the first Soldier of Fortune, I honestly pity you. It was a game made in the 90s which clearly wanted to be a dumb 80s action movie, and you could have endless fun playing it. You could disarm people by shooting their guns with a pistol, there was a cannon-esque machine gun that would rip people apart, and you could throw knives back before CoD made it cool. It was such a slice of un-ironic joy that you just had to love it, like when your dog becomes confused by his own reflection. Yet occasionally, you had to frown at what series protagonist John Mullins could withstand. Because lets face it,there's only so much that glorious moustache could deflect. You could be shot three times with a high-powered pistol, take it from the bloke who was aiming at you and take his arm off with one shot from the same pistol €“ it was just utterly bizarre, but that was 90s gaming for you. The only thing missing that could have made it more quintessential of the decade was if The Offspring were playing in the background. Don€™t get me wrong €“ I€™m not complaining. Frankly, I loved it. If you wanted to know the feeling of what it would actually be like to be McBain from the Simpsons, this was the game for you. Mullins was literally impervious €“ I€™m pretty sure that if you drop him water, he€™ll sink to the bottom like a battleship and expose that he€™s made of tank armour and the souls of lesser men. It€™s a rare man who can get away with wearing a fisherman€™s hat in a game, but Mullins was so balls-out hard that you wouldn€™t dare tell him he looked silly. When a man can face down a rocket with barely a scratch, I think sartorial elegance pales into insignificance.
Contributor
Contributor

Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League. You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.