8. Tommy Vercetti Grand Theft Auto: Vice CityAh, Tommy. Everyones favourite 1980s murderous sociopath (Patrick Bateman notwithstanding), Tommy has a huge variety of skills. He can drive like a stuntman, shoot like a hitman and fly like a pilot. There is literally nowhere you can go to avoid this mans bullet-soaked fury. Except of course, if you own a boat. You see, Tommys embarrassing secret is that he cant swim at all. Not even a little. If one is missing such a key life skill, its probably not wise to drive like a maniac. But Tommy laughs in the face of such rules, swinging his hot-rod around bends like hes been on the Peruvian marching powder, and being fair he probably had been (this was the 80s, after all). So flying an expensive piece of retro machinery straight into the drink was not an unheard-of occurrence in the realm of Vice City. But much like an old dog, Tommy refuses to learn a new trick instead, he chooses to flail about embarrassingly. Frankly, it really breaks the mystique of such a hard-nut character when he can be gazumped by three metres of water. Of course, it makes even less sense when you think about it logically Tommy lives in a city which is at least 80 per cent beach, and never chooses to adapt to it. The only people more ridiculous are those policemen who stand proudly on the bow of their boats in GTA IV without knowing how to swim. If you really want to continue with your lifestyle Tommy, move to Utah. Theres far less water out there.