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10 Videogame Characters Who Were Strangely Allergic To Water

8. Tommy Vercetti €“ Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

Tommy Vercetti Ah, Tommy. Everyone€™s favourite 1980s murderous sociopath (Patrick Bateman notwithstanding), Tommy has a huge variety of skills. He can drive like a stuntman, shoot like a hitman and fly like a pilot. There is literally nowhere you can go to avoid this man€™s bullet-soaked fury. Except of course, if you own a boat. You see, Tommy€™s embarrassing secret is that he can€™t swim at all. Not even a little. If one is missing such a key life skill, it€™s probably not wise to drive like a maniac. But Tommy laughs in the face of such rules, swinging his hot-rod around bends like he€™s been on the Peruvian marching powder, and being fair he probably had been (this was the 80s, after all). So flying an expensive piece of retro machinery straight into the drink was not an unheard-of occurrence in the realm of Vice City. But much like an old dog, Tommy refuses to learn a new trick €“ instead, he chooses to flail about embarrassingly. Frankly, it really breaks the mystique of such a hard-nut character when he can be gazumped by three metres of water. Of course, it makes even less sense when you think about it logically €“ Tommy lives in a city which is at least 80 per cent beach, and never chooses to adapt to it. The only people more ridiculous are those policemen who stand proudly on the bow of their boats in GTA IV without knowing how to swim. If you really want to continue with your lifestyle Tommy, move to Utah. There€™s far less water out there.
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Contributor

Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League. You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.