2. Everything About Metal Gear Sahelanthropus
This entry was originally called "Sahelanthropus' Giant Laser Penis", but to be fair, everything about its creation is absolutely ridiculous in both the best way possible, and the worst. Let's take stock. Around a decade before even the first Metal Gear would grace the world with its lumbering slow movement in the 1987 original Metal Gear (set in 1995, timeline-fans), we're supposed to believe Huey Emmerich helped facilitate a gigantic upright-walking mech, way more advanced than anything else we'd ever see going forward? Sure. He's a genius right? You can't put a timeline on genius, sure, it can walk upright. But... but what's that between its legs? A big... that's totally some sort of appendage-gun, shot from the bottom-up to establish dominance in a weird pseudo-sexual way. Oh, Kojima, you so crazy. Okay, alright, fine, it's got a big ol' giggle-stick cannon, I can live with that, REX pretty much had one too. That'll be fun to fight when I- what? It has a sword?!? It has a giant Gundam-style laser-sword that sparks earthquakes in multiple directions when it hits the ground? That's it, you're done, Hideo. No place for you. You've made the greatest and stupidest thing in Metal Gear history; a creation that single-handedly undoes the technical aspect of the timeline just by sheer fact of its existence, and I hope you're proud of yourself. Still made for one hell of a boss fight, though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpBtH3GeGho